The BBC in their A Point of View magazine, had articles
that had to do with tyrants, art, beauty, fictional characters, technology and
touch.[i]
I found the articles interesting, thought provoking and related in themes.
It seemed to me that that each article touched on the theme that people
have lost a connection with each other, with their purpose, with Source Energy.
The
articles reminded me of an event that I had observed.
One day
when I was sharing a meal with a group of friends in a favorite restaurant,
three tables away from us sat a young couple. They were having lunch and were
in the restaurant for 60 to 80 minutes. The entire time they were seated at
their table, they did two things, they ate their lunch and they were
continuously texting. The only time I heard them speak was when they asked for
the bill. When they decided to leave, they appeared to leave as a couple. It
struck me as odd. Have we lost the intimacy[ii]
of being with a person? Could the intimacy of sharing a meal with someone be replaced
by a token, a placeholder? The token
allows us to say … “yes, I had lunch with someone …. Yes, I am not alone.” This perspective creates a pseudo experience,
a fictional exchange. We appear to be
living, connected, yet we are absorbed into an illusion of relationship, of
self. Almost the way someone might use a good novel to escape from their life.
Using the novel to mask their own life by safely looking at the trials, pain
and difficulties of the character. Safely observing as a “neutral observer”[iii],
not an experiential encounter of their own, but they enter the drama of the
character and how the various novel personas handle their challenges. If this is
the case, it seems to me that something essential is missing from the
experience. Even when I am seated with strangers or eating by myself, I am
alert for possible conversation with others at the table. Keith Ferrazzi[iv]
in his book Never Eat Alone, stressed the importance of each encounter with
another. He promotes the idea that bridge building is essential to one’s
wellbeing. Bridge building is an opportunity to share, to radiate your special
essence – for we are all unique and special. The Connection that Mr. Ferrazzi
promotes is an opportunity to learn from the other, an opportunity to be
helpful to another.
As someone
who loves both people and good food there is another dimension beyond bridge
building to sharing a meal. When I enjoy the food that I am eating, and fully
appreciating the company that I am sharing the meal with, it brings a dimension
of joy to the table.
If as the
texting couple, we engage in texting when we are in the company of another,
where are we? The article on Technology and Touch seems to say we as a society
are moving away from Touch. What is touch? Touch is an essential element in
forming and maintaining relationship. Touch can be expressed by actually
physically touching someone but it has many ways that it can be expressed.
Touch can be felt by tone of voice, by facial expression, or via the eyes
without any physical touching. Touch has many characteristics; here I am only
going to talk about the positive elements. To touch someone, to exchange touch,
each person must be open, vulnerable. Each person, must allow the other to be
who they are, and hold them in a safe place while they touch each other. Touch
in the positive sense conveys warmth and caring that allows the other to be and
to share.
Fear,
whether from the viewpoint of a tyrant or from the person sitting across from
us, will destroy relationship. Fear is a powerful emotion that creates distance
that speaks of mistrust that erects barriers difficult to overcome. Fear can cement a barrier that constricts
positive energy flow. Fear is also a sign of lack of connectedness not just
with the person we are talking to but lack of connectedness with Source Energy
(God). It is a reflection that we lack faith in God’s ability to guide and
protect us. I do believe that we, even psychopaths[v],
are connected to God. We are also connected to each other as human beings. When
we erect barriers[vi]
, we are also diminishing ourselves and
interfering with the positive exchange of energy that is necessary for our well
being. Fear of being who we are, sharing communication and working to help the
other understand the communication actually comes back to haunt us … It creates
negative energy within us … it blocks our own growth.
I enjoy
reading novels, watching movies and art but I see them as items to enjoy, not
replace life. I see the creative work of my photography, my writings or the
creative work of others as a means to open dialogue, to enrich each other.
I would
like to share my recommendations on how to avoid the robotization of
relationships; first, meditate twice a day (at beginning and at the end). The
meditation allows us to come into intimate contact with ourselves, to listen to
our internal voices and allow us to be able to self validate. It will allow us
to discover our unique talents and skills. Meditation can also allow us to
design our day, with people and events that we encounter. Second, it is
important to be open, willing to explore people and events that we encounter.
Third, seek to do no harm to yourself or to others. Fourth to be the creative
artist that you are and radiate that energy to everyone you meet.
FOOT NOTES:
[i] A
Point of View: Why tyrant’s are afraid of art and beauty?, 1/25/15
A Point of View: Does technology make people touch each
other less? 1/30/15
A Point of View: Why do
people relate to fictional characters? 2/20/15
[ii]
Intimacy has many levels of meaning – in this case I am talking about a warm,
caring exchange of personal energy between two or more people
[iii]
Quantum Physics points out that a “neutral observer” cannot exist , as we observe something we become part of the
interaction and indeed the interaction changes.
Wolf, F. A. (1989). Taking the Quantum Leap: The New Physics for
Nonscientists. New York, Harper & Row, Perennial Library.
Vincente, M., et al. (2006). What the Bleep!? Down the Rabbit Hole.
USA, Canada, South Africa, 20th Century Fox: Redefines Physics. Physics
looks at reality as a machine, Quantum Physics looks at reality as an
everchanging organism.
[iv] Ferrazzi, K. and
T. with Raz (2005). Never eat alone: And other secrets to success, One
Relationship at a time. New York, Currency ~ Doubleday.
[v]
Psychopaths pinch the connection between themselves and others, the connection
between themselves and God extremely thin.
[vi]
With the exception of necessary barriers if we feel the person is trying to
intentionally harm us.
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