A Client shared with me that they were struggling with anxiety.
For them to ask somebody to go out on a date, they needed the opinion of a 2ndor 3rdperson to confirm that they made the right move.
They needed the approval from an external source to validate their desire.
Intellectually, the person was able to acknowledge their own qualities,
i.e. being attractive, intelligent and funny, yet this was not enough for them to be confident about themselves.
Emotionally, they were not friends with, or in relationship to their own value.
A few weeks ago I was having dinner with some friends of mine. We talked about how people in general want external validation … they don’t want to step out of their comfort box. People seem to want to fit in. They will even accept a leader when the leader does not have their interest at heart.
My friend, Dr. Magdy suggested that I watch a movie “Dancing with Wolves.”
Although it was set at the time of the US Civil War, when we had a “frontier,” that is, a land which had native Americans living there, the behaviors of the main characters are not so different to how people think and move today.
There were the beaurocrat (government) thinkers and followers. There were those who simply looked at the observable data and use it to live in the pattern of stalemate, in a pattern of living in the past. In living a life of conformity, lacking a higher purpose. Many of the soldiers were not living in a state of joy.
Then there was Lt. James Dunbar, a man who starts with a badly injured leg. The medical doctors wanted to take off his leg as the “proper treatment.” He chose to keep his leg and went back to the battle. Seeing the stalemate of both armies behind their barricades. A “no man’s land” existed between the barricades. In deciding to break the stalemate, He put his life in danger. He drew the fire of the confederate troops, riding full speed in the middle of no man’s land. The second time he drew the fire of the confederate troops, the confederate troops lost their focus. The confederates allowed the reengagement of shooting at the union officer to distract them from their mission. The union troupes were inspirited by Dunbar’s “suicide charge,” and attacked the confederate line. Dunbar had begun his transformation to be the person he truly was. Not fearing death allowed him to be who he was and transform his life experience.
May sound crazy but he developed a relationship to everything by learning to allow his relationship with himself in the quiet of his post. He journaled his experience and documented his integration of his life experiences. He found himself by being by himself, journaling, allowing his experience to teach him.
He developed true friendships with the native Americans (Sioux), with the animals, with his dancing partner the wolf, and with his horse.
He distanced himself with the negative behavior of the cavalry (beaurocracy) and the traders who damaged the land with their buffalo hunting.
He knew that he would not go back.
He was no longer Lt. James Dunbar.
He was now “Dancing with wolves,” in relationship with his soul, with the universe and with people who chose to be in a positive caring relationship to everything.
Will you accept the challenge to be a peaceful warrior,
someone who is willing to find themselves,
someone who is willing to radiate their talent independent of what others think?
Let me know your thoughts.
The story of Lt Dunbar, who is now “Dances with Wolves,” his native American friends, and his animals can be a true inspiration for us today.
@KevinCostner, @DancingwithWolves, @peacefulwarrior,
"Dances with Wolves" Kevin Costner 1990
"Way of the peaceful warrior", Dan Millman, 2000
No comments:
Post a Comment