Path to Healing Support Group II / III of Initial Session

     Ruth is a bright, gifted woman who excels at the creative work that she does. It was important to let Ruth feel that she was not at fault for being bright, gifted and creative.

Being bright, gifted and creative certainly makes a person stand out. We all have our creative, gifted side but most of us are afraid to show that side of us. Ruth was not afraid to use her gifts but was troubled by the family’s negative response to her abilities.

     As we supportively followed her path of pain, we wound up in a pre-school period of her life. At that point there was a breakdown in important communication within the family. Ruth’s parents were depending on the formality and rigidity of the patterns of their culture and religion to control the lives of their children. Due to the patterns of culture and religion they missed the importance of communication with their children and most importantly listening to their children rather than controlling the children.

     It is impossible for a child up to later adolescence to be faulted for bad or inappropriate behavior. The child is caught up in a house of mirrors, reflections of what the adults have learned and are now pushing on them.

     Although Ruth’s parents did not intentionally set up a trauma for their daughter, they must take responsibility for the trauma that unfolded because of their lack of listening, lack of intuitive connection with Ruth. Ruth in no way could have been responsible for what unfolded.

     An adult male was allowed to stay in Ruth’s family’s house and was assigned to help take care of the children. Somehow the signals that this male was a child predator were missed. The parents failed to vet this man, before granting him a level of trust that was unwarranted.

     The male predator put himself in a position to pick one child of the eight and use them sexually for his own needs. The child he picked was Ruth. The onus of misbehavior was on the male. Only the predator can face the responsibility of abusing a child. A child is innocent and incapable of seducing an adult. A child is incapable of defending themself against an adult predator. The Predator goes after a child for their sexual needs because they know that the child cannot understand what the predator is doing and cannot defend themselves against the predator.