My son, Thomas got me to watch the movie, Wreck it Ralph. I must
say that I had my doubts about the movie; I had a mild expectation that we
would be entertained. I was surprised at the way the movie was woven together
and the deeper meanings behind the characters. I do believe the movie has much
to offer adults.
At the beginning, when we emerge into the world, we remain true
to our essence. Our natural state of being is that we are open … to life … to
people, to events. We are vulnerable, impressionable but we are not afraid. If
anything, we are excited about being in physical form and the adventure that
awaits us. Although we can encounter detours or painful events, I do believe
that we can protect ourselves and allow our unique qualities to emerge. It is
possible to thrive without burying painful events or trauma in the subconscious
level of the 400 billion bits of information within our thinking process.[i] We
can continue to grow, be open and heal without shutting down or acting out. Sometimes,
however, we are overwhelmed by the painful stimulus and temporarily lose our
bearings. Like Penelope it is easy to become hindered in achieving our
potential. One option is to protect ourselves by attempting to lose the trauma pain
in the 400 billion bits of information. The issue with hiding the trauma is
that the trauma is not dormant … it is energy. Like a bubbling volcano, it will
erupt and splatter against and effect other experiences in our life. The lost
pain could easily contaminate what otherwise should be a very positive
experience with a person or an event.
There are times, however, when a person, usually a
self-absorbed person who has chosen to disconnect themself from other people
and source, deliberately seeks to use another person for their own benefit. One
such example is the King (aka Turbo) who choses to deliberately mess up
Penelope in order to promote himself. This type of person’s action causes a
hard hit to our emotions, to our sense of self. The irony is that attempting to
control or inhibit another is not satisfying to the person seeking control.[ii]
Because it is not satisfying, their behavior increasingly becomes driven by trying
to control others for their own distorted image. This type of person, because
of their deepening choices for self-aggrandizement, put themself in a position of
being unable to connect in a positive relationship
with someone in a romantic relationship, a friendship or even a business
relationship. They continuously seek to gratify themself at the expense of
others. Their behavior creates a tremendous negative spin for the people in
their life. As adults they become bitter, lose connection with their source of
energy (God) and begin to hurt others in order to try and make themself feel
better. The King in “Wreck it Ralph” is an example.
At the other extreme is the person who is hurt by the traumatic
behavior. Characteristics of trauma include being hyper alert, trying to bury
the trauma and using a lot of energy to maintain strong inflexible defenses.
This approach might be needed at the moment of trauma but it becomes counter
productive the longer it remains in operation. The hyper alertness, submerging
the data in the 400 billion bits within our consciousness and the inflexible
defenses become bumps or obstacles, fortresses that have become etiolated with
age. They are relics that served a purpose in the past at the moment of impact
of the trauma but are now impediments to happiness and fulfillment. Indeed they
even become hindrances to healing. The trauma becomes a growing chasm that
blocks potential growth and connection of relationships.
The irony is that because the damage is pervasive, or hits the
person hard … a person might feel at a
loss to try to undo the damage of the trauma. They visualize the trauma as
harming them physically. They may even use words indicating they want to heal
as if it was a physical wound. They might seek therapy to help them understand
the impact of the trauma. They might seek a system or a religious experience
that is patterned in such a manner as to allow them to feel that they are
healing, what has become a physical wound for them. In fact the system may
cover the damage but may still block the person’s purpose or mission and
provide comfort in the group robotic patterns within the system. Yet the trauma
lives. It becomes an obstacle to prevent
the person from becoming all they can be, utilizing their talents to the
maximum.
I believe that the recovery from trauma is not connected to
looking for clues to help the person understand the source of the pain or
event. Understanding the trauma can become a life long quest to do deeper into
the trauma. It is a path that will not lead to overcoming the trauma. I also
believe the essence of healing in not in the comfort of a structured group. I
find it interesting that the self-help group in Wreck it Ralph actually used
the distortion of the characters to label the trauma or the problem and
identify the trauma as an essential part of the person. The members promoted
accepting the distortion, making acceptance of it necessary in order to accept and
define themselves. At one point they even say “get with the program.”
In the next post we’ll look at not accepting the trauma as a
necessary physical wound but rather using the trauma to create a contrast
within a thinking, feeling energy field and using the contrast to facilitate
healing.
[i] See the previous post Intimacy Closeness
Vulnerability & the Glitch Pt. I ~~~
“What the Bleep, Down the Rabbit Hole. Scientist stated that our thinking process,
which they called the brain, could process 400 billion bits of information, yet
we can only focus on 2,000 bits of information at a time. Given the vastness of
the information, it is easy to push painful elements into the deep corners of
the 400 billion bits and try to forget the painful experiences.
[ii] Abraham-Hicks, The Vortex
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